Q: Why hasn't anyone invented an ice cream that doesn't melt?
— JOHN D., Newark NJ
A: Well, John, it's funny you should ask, because here at the Clumpies Research Laboratories we have actually
developed an unmelting ice cream. (We call it antimelt.) However, the unfortunate fact is that it can only be
made in the less-than-popular flavor "concrete" (did poorly in focus groups).